Whod you bang
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Randomize
