How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
