Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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