Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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