Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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