the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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