Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
