If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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