is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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