Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
