It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
