we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
