Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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