I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
