i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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