Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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