Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(850): View more from Florida

Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?

(850): View more from Florida

I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife

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(253): View more from Washington

she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?

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(336): View more from North Carolina

after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.

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(678): View more from Georgia

Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.

(404): View more from Georgia

We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.

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(607): View more from New York

I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is

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