mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
