Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
