we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
