why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
My breath smells like gin and sadness
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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