could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
