omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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