I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
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