Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
