I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
