Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
