I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
