omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize