She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
