I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
