Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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