Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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