It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
you had me at cake vodka
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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