did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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