Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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