I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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