thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
