I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Sext me about skeletons
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