she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
