i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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