big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
