woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
