I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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