If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
