So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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