What a fucking waste of an outfit
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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