i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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