was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
