i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
