nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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