Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
