I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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