just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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