Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
