when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
In America we eat man semen.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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