How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
