I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
