I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
it's not cheating when I paid for it
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
