once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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